New York. New York and Boston. New York, Boston, Drew, and an old friend. Splitting time between filming, house hunting and finding ways to see old friends isn’t the easiest to juggle. Like I don’t already have enough to juggle with the wedding on my mind, it’s like throwing a piano into the mix. While the circus entertainer can handle it, he’s obviously stressing about his situation as time goes on and his perfect timing somehow slowly begins to deteriorate when he makes the mistake of allowing his mind to go blank for the briefest of moments. That’s when it all comes crashing down on him and the entertainer has learned his lesson. He sits there wondering; looking around at the mess he’s just made of himself and of everything around him. He’s a fool but he picks up the pieces and walks his humiliated self out of the spotlight, unscathed. Uninjured but still affected by what went down, he’ll heal and move on and when he does come back out the crowd will cheer. I love Drew. She’s the longest steady relationship I’ve ever had. Almost two years together after starting off as two complete strangers is amazing to think about. The last girl I was with, I had absolutely nothing in common with. Our relationship was based on sex. We were on and off for three years. I didn’t love her. I loved the thought of pinning her and taking her to town every chance I got. She loved being pinned and the violent fucks I gave her. She regularly cheated on anyone she was with to get with me and it gave me a huge ego boost. I remember finding her in a public place once. She was with someone who was too self-absorbed to care that she was gone for a while. I had seen her and pulled her aside and she was more than willing to play along. We made out and I sent her back to whoever she was with. We met up later and got each other off and that’s all it ever consisted of but I do care about that girl to a limited extent. I wouldn’t cheat on Drew with that girl, ever. I’m not going to say that I regret pinning Alexa to a wall and kissing her until I thought my lips were going to fall off. Considering I’m engaged, it could be a bad idea, though. I didn’t think about Drew. I didn’t think about how she’d feel if she found out. I lied when we ran into Alexa on the street near a hotdog stand and Drew asked me if I’d seen her prior, recently when we were in the Range Rover. I said no. The foundation of my parents’ method was honesty. I tend to fail them in that way and several others. I’m no stranger to failure, though. I’ve failed tests and quizzes. Fail to follow through. I failed my parents. I failed my only friend. I failed Drew whose heart I’d hate to have to break, EVER. I seek her out and find her. She isn’t so happy with me if only because I failed to tell her I’m engaged. We’ve been back in each other’s lives for only a couple of weeks and already I have her throwing her fists at me and pushing me out. When I got there, I knew there’d probably be a scene. Understandable. She still cares. Even after my asshole antics, she still cares. It’s difficult to understand why in all honesty I’ll continue filming in Boston until the end of this month. I hope Keely sticks to the schedule and doesn’t run off, leaving us all standing around like a bunch of idiots trying to work around her absence until her diva ass decides to come back from Mars. After that, we’ll go back to Los Angeles to finish filming on the lot then I’ll come back to NYC for good. |